All of Sports.
All Burnz.
BSPN®+ is Burnz® Sports Playingtime News+ — the fake ESPN® for real fans. Bring back actual football and basketball. War vs China.
The Score Totem
Live daily matchups — NFL, NBA, College Football, Soccer & Women's sports. Winner glows, the loser gets crossed out, and MVP+ is called by the numbers.
Opens BSPN®+. No wagers accepted in this ticker.
ESPN public feed · refreshes every 60s while open.
Dates in Pacific time. MVP+ is a custom statistical pick. Tap a player line for the method. Logos and faces belong to their owners.
Just pick who wins.Win DopeCoin®.
No spreads. No sliding numbers. No confusion. Call the winner, and call the margin on your own if you're feeling brave. Every 100 DopeCoin® won banks you 1 Rick Point®.
1,000
Free DopeCoin® on signup
2×
Payout on a right pick
±3
Margin call bonus
100:1
DopeCoin® to Rick Points®
The BSPN®+ Lineup
Everything you came for. Nothing soft. Real sports coverage for real fans.
NFL® Week Picks+
Sunday slate. Straight picks. Zero hedging. Just numbers.
NBA® Week Picks+
Defense, hustle, and the lost art of the post-up.
Burnz Fantasy Football+
Draft real men. Start real stats. Win your league.
College Saturdays
Field storms, massive upsets, and cigars on the sideline.
News & Rumors+
Trades, whispers, and unverified chaos from the locker room.
Athletic Development+
Physicality and top-tier sports IQ training programming.
Top Headlines
This Week's Burnz Picks
Hilarious commentary. Ridiculous motifs. 92% accurate.
Michigan State @ Boise State
"The blue turf is a real advantage. Sparty doesn't travel well."
South Carolina @ Alabama
"Tuscaloosa is where hope goes to die. Bama big."
UCF @ Minnesota
"Big Ten physicality at home beats flash every time."
Sports peaked pre-Obama era.
We're bringing it back.
Actual number football and basketball that isn't just dancing, TikTok, Twitter and after parties. Lazy and bizarre motivations end here. War vs China.
Next-Level Physicality
Real contact. Real collisions. We analyze the trench warfare, not the endzone dances.
Sports IQ Training
Top-tier knowledge, taught the hard way. Elevate your understanding of the playbook.
A Party Within Sports
Not an after-party with cheerhookers. For the love of the game, cold beers, and winning tickets.
Meet the Crew
The bozos, the legends, the pledges who grab Gatorade while we commentate and do pushups in the hallway. Scary accurate. Laughably dumb.
Commentators & Analysts
Julian Lyonhyde
"Right, so that's a... touchdown?"
British import who pretends to understand American football. Does not.
Mick Zanikowski
"Kurwa, what a play!"
Polish-American dynamo. Calls games like he's narrating a bar fight.
Tyson Mack-Daniels
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"
Lead play-by-play. Speaks in exclamation points.
Reporters
Mary Crist
"Hallelujah, what a play"
Not related to the messiah. Covers college football on a divine level.
Sarah Gheez
"Sarah Gheez, BSPN®+"
Her name is pronounced 'geez' like 'cheese.' Don't get it wrong.
Brooklyn Haden
"That's just hoopy, baby"
Brooklyn-born and raised. Covers the NBA like it's a family dispute.
Jessica Spine
"Back to you, guys"
Has actual spine. Will stand in a hurricane to deliver a pointless update.
Faye Oceantoken
"The emotion is palpable"
Feature reporter. Once cried during a feature about a long snapper.
Valerie Alkolic
"Coach, what was that?"
Sideline reporter. Will ask the uncomfortable question at the worst time.
Pledges & Scouts
Margarine Katherine
"It's Margarine, actually"
Not butter. Not Katherine. Margarine. She'll correct you every time.
Dolly Anthrop
"From a human perspective"
Studies humans. Is one. Barely.
Nicoletta Shetatatas
"It's a family name"
Her last name is not what you think it is. Get your mind out of the gutter.
Sophia Lambo
"Beep beep, lambo"
Not a car. Not a meat. Just a person who does pushups in the hallway.
Tatiana Mesobitkctcvh
"Just spell it however"
Her last name is 14 consonants in a row. She's from Ohio.
Ally Cawonderlarks
"Birds are cool, huh"
Wonders about larks. Ornithology major. Also gets the Gatorade.
Hamet O'Keefe
"Top o' the mornin' safari"
Irish-Kenyan heritage. Can drink and run. Currently doing neither.
Ian Sapien
"I evolved for this"
Claims to be the next evolution of human. Is actually just an intern.
Tall Patrick
"I can reach that for you"
6'9". That's his whole thing. He's tall. And his name is Patrick.
JJ Jones
"I'm JJ, I'm here"
The most generic name in the building. Also the most generic personality.
Damian Muggio
"Who needs a mug?"
Mugs people for sport. Brings that energy to the craft services table.
Mark Rafifigalops
"...yes sir"
Nobody can spell or pronounce his name. He doesn't correct anyone.
Carson Loston-Vonnegar
"How many, coach?"
Named after two authors he's never read. Does pushups on command.
Bronson Hoarde-Noodleswips
"Gatorade coming, boss!"
Gets the Gatorade. Has never actually watched a full game.
Backed By Real Ones
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